“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.” – Albert Einstein

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” – Winston Churchill

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” – Mark Twain

“All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.” – Jane Wagner

“All generalizations are false, including this one.” – Mark Twain

“If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.” – Hillary Clinton

“Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.” –  Wilson Mizner

“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.” – Joey Adams

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.” – Elon Musk

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” – Unknown

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”– Oscar Wilde

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”– Agatha Christie